Someone Wrote Me a Poem :)

A very close friend of mine wrote this for me and I turned it into an image with a rose as depicted in the poem itself 🙂

Interesting Thought #4: Is the Future and Past – Just an illusion?

Okay – so I’ve been thinking. A lot 🙂 My life, your life and the existence of EVERYTHING!

A lot of people feel they have a choice in life. They sit there most of their time thought – regretting the bad choices they made and spending months in some cases, trying to place the blame to shed their guilt – or even just a couple of hours trying to understand a recent event and how they could have done things differently.

Why? Is it one of the problems with consciousness and higher thought? I think its actually just a matter of perception. We are always in a state of trying to think a head – out think ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’. We constantly analyse the past looking to find every error we made so we don’t make the same one again. In reality though – we are back logged. We make so many mistakes so frequently that we don’t have enough time to reconsider them. Plus we go through so many different scenarios in our mind of how the one event could have played out.

If we could see the future though, a definite future, would we be any happier? The temptation to look is too strong – since we all want that bit of control over our lives so saying ”I’ll only look when I need to look but that’s bullshit.

I know if I could see my definite future – I’d be looking to it as much as I look at the past. I spend hours of my day – at least half of my waking hours are spent thinking of everything that comes to mind that is half interesting.

Things I Think About

• The location and composure of the human mind.
• The size of the universe and what possible other life forms could exist besides carbon-based (every life form of earth is carbon based)
• How humans could evolve and how they could have evolved differently
• Alternate ways society could develop
• Z-Day (Zombie Apocolypse)
• When I cross the road I like to imagine I have telekinesis or mind control in case a driver might hit me – not a delusional thing just day dreaming
• Martial Arts and the physics behind it – nerve strikes and grappling etc.
• Past Relationships
• Future Relationships
• Who my possible wife might be and what she is currently doing and where she is in the world
• Batman
• Personal Life Events in the past
• Friendships and Relationships and how things are going and possibly play out in current events
• The Future – Technology, Society, Religion and Evolution
• Alien Life
• Existence and God
• Batman

So as you can see my head – like most peoples – is running through thousands of thoughts per hour concocting various simulated scenarios and thinking of endless possibilities.

So the past is pretty obvious – as far as we know we can verify it has happened – that is – outside the belief of solipsism – and the future seems to be pretty much set in stone.

Humans can perceive 3½ dimensions. Length, Height and Width.

This is a graphic example of the four spatial dimensions

Now if we consider what a dimension is and what the fourth dimension represents – we can say that a dimension is a physical location on a single plane in space-time. How is time a dimension like length or height or width? Simple really.

Well Maybe 🙂

Each lower dimension will make up the dimension previous to it. As you can see two objects in the ‘0’ dimension in the above diagram join together to create a first dimension object – a line.  Join two lines at both ends and you create a flat (2d) square. Join two squares and tada – you have a cube (3d).  What about the 4th dimension? Well if you think of the characteristics inherent in every object you have length, width, height and change. As you sit infront of the computer – the state of the atoms in the world around you – are constantly changing – moving, vibrating or radiating at different rates. Time is the measurement of change in a given object or system. If you could percieve the full perspective of the fourth dimension – you could see every point that an object has existed and changed from its first planck second to its ultimate planck second of ceasing to exist – that is – when the matter has decompressed into energy and been completely destroyed – not just changed states.

Take into account here that matter – the hard stuff that you, me and everyone and everything is made from – is just densely compressed energy…and so in perceiving the full fourth dimension – you would see that the entire universe is created from basically you would be consiously aware of every atom you can see – its current measurements in height, length, width and change.

So looking at a collegue I can see every state he has ever been and will become right until the end of the universe – until our 11 total dimensions collapse in on themselves and the universe ‘bursts’ or ‘collapses’.

This says to me – that the entire future of the universe and its entire contents are completely predictable and inherently predetermined.

You might be thinking – ”A here, fuck off would  ye? I make my own decisions” well not really- You don’t at all. Its all just a big chain of dominos.

Example:

You wake up this morning. You have three choices – look at the clock – lie there a little longer – get up straight away. Now every one of those choices and any other you can think of – is purely a reaction. You might look at the clock to make sure you don’t miss work, school, college etc you might already know you don’t have any morning appointments so you might lie there a little longer, you may not feel well or that you have slept enough either – or you may feel you’ve reseted enough and your hungry, or you need the toilet – either way – its all decided already.

Because of past events the future is just a change of state based on the reaction of the last event and everything in your life will always happen because of a past event – everything is a reaction to a cause which in itself is a reaction to a previous cause.

It all started with A, A begot B and B begot C etc and eventually that single event begot the entire rest of the universe.

So if our brains could perceive the fourth dimension we technically could read minds, understand the universe on a greater scale as well as understand our purpose in the universe.

What I want though is – to be able to step outside reality – into my own pocket reality – where time runs at a relative rate of 1 second in this reality to 1 year in my private one. This would give me all the time I need to understand everything I want to know.

Imagine – just with a thought – you could pause reality and step into your parallel reality where time runs at a sloth’s pace – run to the library in Trinity College and read up on everything you need to satisfy your current curiousity – or during work – pop into my reality for a nap and sleep for a few hours(my time) and be back before people even notice I’ve gone.

In the mean time – until we understand how to create traverse-able worm holes into our own pocket universes with time dilation – sit tight and enjoy the moment!

Just a thought 🙂

My Legend of the 5 Rings Clan…

Apparently this is the Clan that reflects my personal philosophies the most.

Click the image above to take the short quiz yourself.

I’ve decided to expand my Roleplaying horizons to include L5R and while I’m still to do some reading up and research into the game itself I understand the basic premise:

You become a person of importance back in Feudal Japan. You and your friends play the roles of Nobels, Samurai, Monks, Shugenja(Wizards/Mages) and seemingly some other ‘classes’.

I hope to write  a more detailed post on the game later on but just accept this as the prelude.

Keep Reading 😉

A retraction of subtext…

In one of my earlier posts I spoke and ranted about the bother with falling in love. Well after some time pondering about that article and the thoughts and mental excusions it took me on, I’ve decided to clarify – that the subtext of that wasn’t love is bad, not real or has a hidden agenda…but it was ‘Im still hurt’. It may be obvious that I wrote it out of lost love – yes. But not so obvious that I wasn’t the victim as-such.

I was the fool to leave her. I am the ‘criminal’ in this scenario. I stole her heart and broke it.
In retrospect – I was quite selfish in that relationship. Not on purpose – I rarely am selfish on purpose. I have quite a – how would you say – self serving nature. While I try to do things for others and be as grateful and generous as I can – I’ve always – well nearly always – been able to round my motive down to self gratification on some level. That being said – a lot of it is nearly subconsious.

I have sabotaged a lot of my own relationships in the past – always the same story. I meet a girl, we fall for eachother (call it puppy love if you will), we get involved together – and when things get too deep – I bail…not out of fear of commitment – nothing I love more than knowing there is someone I can be with and rely on to be there for and with me. But what I reason – is because I figure I don’t deserve this person. That there is someone out there who can love them more than I do – and they deserve to find that person. But thats bull shit too. I mean the part about self sacrifice. The real reason – is I don’t believe I deserve them. period.

Me as a person – I am many things. I am clinicly classified as a Genius…I was given a second chance at life through adoption…I live with a family who has high moral values and leanient but decent dicipline and who love eachother. I have all the resources I need – to get anywhere I want in life. I’m aware of that. I have friends – while few – are some of the best guys you could ask for. I have hundreds of ‘aquintances’, my name is well known in the local area – I am still meeting people at parties and social functions who know me by name, full name, and I’ve not only never seen them before – I havn’t heard their name either…I have such a unique story behind me in the last 20 years – if you were to hear my life story to date – you would think its a fiction novel…If I were to put a percentage of how much my closest friends know about my life – I’d easily say 40%…my family, 60%. People seem to think I can’t keep a secret – but the oldest trick in the book – give them nothing – and they’ll look for something…give them a little – and they’ll look for nothing…

Anyways – back on track…all that is relevant in saying – while I have the brains and resources, social and personal – to get where I want in life – I can’t work a relationship. Out of one simple emotion – governs the rest of my life from there on out…fear….

I’ve known for years that I fear a lot of things. Not ghosts or murderers, spiders or ghouls…I fear change and loss. I know everyone fears loss, I know everyone dislikes change…but I loathe both of them…they go hand in hand…and where one is – the other isn’t far behind….

Loss brings change…and change brings loss… its circular – infinite…

I screwed up my last relationship – because of so much change…I feared loosing the one I loved – and out of that came my irrational decision.

In the last year and a half – I have experienced change on such a large scale – in every aspect of my life – there was huge change. I lost friends, contact with family, communication with the outside world became a burden…I was so wound up in the bondage of change, that I cut myself off emotionally from a lot of things. I spent time worrying and working on holding onto what I still had – while it slipped through my fingers like sand…and my relationship – was more like a wet clod of sand…in the beginning it held out against everything…but as time passed – it dried out and slowly eroded away and like everything else – slipped away…

So – my recent article about the pointlessness of relationships…was written with the feelings of anger, regret and self pitty…when it should have been written with self realization, external perspective, introsepction and understanding…

So if you bothered to read this far, here is the treat of this article…

Like life, love is to be experienced, not planned for or expected.

Thats just a quote that grew from a small piece of personal philosphy I carry in my mental journal. The original piece went as:

The present is what we do when we experience the future, the past is what we do when we look at our present. Life is to be lived, not prepared and expected…

Just a thought….

Interesting Thought #2

Right so I have thought about this quite a bit and while the idea seems quite pessimistic I can’t for the life of me determine an alternate line of thought in the matter.

We get into relationships – usually – atleast a handful throughout our lives. Now – tell me – IF the man or woman you get with now – you don’t figure you will end up marrying – then why would you get with them knowing that one day you will have to hurt them or be hurt…

So why do people get in long, deep relationships if when the end comes – which it most certainly will – even if you marry – 60% of all first marrages end in divorce – and if you don’t marry – then you will end up breaking up – which means that your break up with this person – is forseeable even before you meet the person. For example I know that the next girlfriend I have – if I don’t intend to marry her – which I don’t – then I know that I will end up breaking up with her – or she will break up with me – either way – I know the next girl I go out with – will end up hurt and/or me too.

So why get in these relationships that are destined to be be doomed? My last girlfriend – I know that if we had stayed together a lot longer – say three or four years later – I would have expected to marry her, but I sabotaged that relationship – for reasons that weren’t in my control.

Anyways – so now while I contemplate my future relationships – I wonder will the girl I get with next be the possible Mrs.Awesome? I don’t think so – possible yes – probable no. Not that she isn’t a wife-type – but because I don’t know who she is – and well the ratio for girlfriends who you would marry seems to be quite low – for me at this stage is 1:15 atleast…so probability stands between me and my future wife…

Although since I do want to marry in teh future – I am curious as to what my future wife is currently doing – or were she lives….Or what her name is! She must be alive – thats the interesting thing – but were is she – is the even more intriguing thing. Well – maybe I won’t get married – maybe I’ll die before that – road accidents, heart attacks – interpersonal attacks – meh the possibilites are infinite – but the MAIN point is – why do we engage in multiple relationships over our life times if we know they will end in pain?

Whats to gain? Why not just stay with the one person?  I understand people can be wrong for eachother – that happens but in relationships were people break up for no real apparent reason other than external stressors?

Meh, just a thought…